Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, filled with love, laughter and family. <3 From our family to yours!

And we meet, well, sort of!

I was pleasantly surprised when I received an e-mail from my social worker at 10am this morning... on a Saturday! She responded that B&P loved my profile and wanted to "meet" me as well. She wanted to get days and times that Andy and I would be available to Skype with them.

I received an e-mail that afternoon, however this time, it was a group message, to me, my future program coordinators, and also to B&P. Our Skype date was for 8:00 pm this evening. Our agency doesn't play a role in the initial skype conversation. They want you to get to know each other naturally, without a third party listening in. She sent along tips regarding what to say and what not to say.

I was nervous, it almost felt like dating... Will they like me? Will they not like me? It was all so nervewracking. And what do you do when you're nervous? Well you clean of course! I cleaned my whole house from top to bottom this afternoon. Before I knew it, it was time to make myself look presentable, put the kids to bed and get logged in.

Andy and I waited, staring at our computer screen, waiting for something to happen. Finally it did...

The screen popped up and there they were, exactly as they appeared in the photos. Each sitting in brown leather chairs in front of a fireplace, wearing sweatpants, and big smiles. They were so friendly and within minutes, my nervousness wore off. Talking to them was easy, and they were hilarious. We laughed until our stomach's hurt, we talked until our voices became raspy, and toward the end, tears, as each descriped their hope for this journey.

I hated the thought of getting off our skype call, knowing we each have a couple days to decide if we truly want to move forward with each other. I hated the thought of waiting. However, as we were ending our call, "P" stated that they were happy, and felt comfortable with us and were excited to tell our social worker that they have agreed to move forward with Andy and I. I felt such a sense of relief. Andy and I both stated we felt the exact same way. We said our goodbyes and shut down my computer.

Two minutes later, my phone buzzed. There was an e-mail already from B&P saying, "we had a great skype chat with Ashley and Andy. We think they are wonderful, and we would very much like to proceed. Best regards."

And with that, I have officially been matched.

A match made in heaven

Just as I was cleaning off my desk at work, and packing up to go home, my phone buzzed saying I had a new e-mail. I had been waiting all day to hear something from my social worker regarding a match, but seeing how it was 4:25 pm on a Friday afternoon, I figured I wouldn't hear anything until Monday. Taking a deep breath, preparing myself for the disappointment of another Old Navy 25% off coupon or a Jumponit deal, I opened the e-mail anyway.

"INTENDED PARENT PROFILE FOR YOUR REVIEW"! I was stunned! I couldn't open the attachment quick enough. WHO had my agency specifically picked for me? This could be the family that I may carry a child for, this is HUGE! What were they like!? Where did they live!? Hundreds of questions were racing through my mind.

I opened the attached standard profile, it was redacted in order to protect their identity (in case the match didn't work out, I wouldn't know their last names, DOB's, specific location, place of employment, etc.)

There they were. My potential match that I had anxiously been awaiting for. They were everything I hoped for and more.

We will call them B&P, to protect their idenity. B&P are a same-sex couple that live in Massachusetts. They have a 3 year old daughter already, who was conceived using a surrogate through our same agency. They have excellent jobs - one is a Doctor and one owns his own company. As I scrolled down, reading thier responses to all of the questions I noticed the pictures at the bottom. Several photos throughout the years of B&P and their beautiful daughter. Pictures that perfectly capture who they are as people and what amazing fathers they are to their daughter.

I had tears in my eyes. These two people, who longed to complete their family, and wanted to give their daughter a sibling. They would literally do anything to provide that for her. They could potentially put all their faith and trust in ME to provide that for them. I could be the one to give birth and complete a family that cannot complete a family on their own. I was amazed that I could feel such a connection with a family just by looking at their pictures. I immediately responded and said I would absolutely love to meet them.

.... Now I just needed to wait and see if they wanted to move forward with me too.

I am officially committed!

After checking my e-mail 394870 times today (I literally feel like that's all I do...) I RECEIVED THE COMMITMENT LETTER!

Wow! This is SO EXCITING. My social worker said she could potentially have an intended parent match by the end of this week! :-O

The commitment letter basically goes over everything. one. more. time. Just to be sure you truly know what you're getting into, before you're matched - and get the hopes up - of intended parents. It asks you to be sure you have a strong support network and specifically, a completely committed partner. Do I have the time to commit to traveling, do I understand and commit to all the medications required? The list goes on.

I signed that puppy right on the dotted line. Bring on the intended parent profile!

Stay tuned!!

Let's talk...

The same day I received notification that I have advanced to the screening process, I received an e-mail from my social worker! That was quick! She included a 20 page document about "Becoming a Gestational Carrier" that she requested I read before our interview. The booklet was packed full of information, detailing exactly what to expect throughout this process. What's involved in each process and everything I need to know. It was incredibly informative. The interviews (one for me, one for my husband) were conducted yesterday!

So, that was A LOT of talking. So much talking. THREE WHOLE HOURS worth of talking! We discussed everything. From my childhood, to my relationship with my husband, my family, my diet, my children and of course my pregnancies. It seemed like it went well. I really enjoyed my conversation with her, she made me feel really comfortable and was very optimistic about me continuing through the process!

Andy's conversation was later that afternoon, his was shorter but still a lot of talking at 1 hour. He said he felt the conversation went well.

I scheduled my psychological exam with a Doctor located in Boston this evening. We spoke via webex, so she could see me as I completed the MMPI exam. She was extremely nice and we had a great conversation. The test consisted of 100 basic questions, true or false answers. The entire process took me about a half hour.

My social worker said she needs to receive my psych evaluation results and then she will present my profile to a group of her coworkers to review her findings, to see if I'm eligable to proceed and be matched with potential IP's (intended parents)! Fingers crossed!!

Moving on to screening!

I've been very busy over the last few days. To shorten this up, I filled out a 15 page welcome packet, an 8 page universal application for insurance agencies, I collected 5 - 7 photos of myself and my family to submit, I collected a 70 page document from my insurance company that outlines my entire coverage, I worked with my OBGYN to collect pregnancy records for both pregnancies and I worked with the hospital I delivered at to collect my delivery records. I was able to submit my entire application and all of my paperwork this past Tuesday. AAAAND WAIT!

.... Actually, I didn't have to wait that long. This morning, I checked my e-mail for the 95th time to discover my agency responded. It read, "Congratulations! You are moving on to the screening process!" OMG! Another step completed. I couldn't believe I was actually accepted! She went on to say that one of the agency's social workers would be in touch with me shortly and she would take over from there. Things are really starting to move quickly. I can't believe this is actually happening....

Application's done! ...... Just kidding, there's more.

After checking my e-mail more times than I ever thought possible, I signed in early this morning and there, in unopened mail bold text was a welcome letter from the agency. The first sentence read, "Thank you for completing the surrogate application. We are thrilled to report that you have met our pre-screening criteria for becomming a surrogate!" Wow. One step completed, we can check that off my list! My throat was in my stomach - in a good way! I was shocked, excited and scared shitless all at the same time.

While reading the initial e-mail, I noticed I had another new e-mail. Just when I thought the initial application process wasn't that bad, I soon realized that was simply a way to quickly weed out individuals that could NOT be surrogates (generally speaking, how many children you have, your age, location, weight and previous depression are the biggest factors for my agency turning someone away) the actual application was more. So. Much. More.

Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
 

Application time!

Today was the day! After a week of researching surrogacy agencies, I finally chose one. A well known agency located in Boston. It was somewhat local to me, and I had heard excellent reviews about this organization. I felt the most connected to this agency. So, with that, I filled out the questionaire on their website.

It asked very basic, generic, but very expected questions: Name, DOB, Location, etc. It went a little further and asked more personal, yet still expected questions: How many children do you have? Did you have any difficulties in your pregnancies/labors? What is your height/weight? Do you smoke/drink? Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? etc. It was brief and didn't take me long to complete. With one little *click* of the mouse, I would TRULY begin this process!

Research, research, research!

Here we go! I have been wanting to write a blog for some time. Now, as I'm entering into my first surrogacy journey, I know I need to. I want to remember all of the details surrounding this incredible experience!

First and foremost, my name is Ashley. I have been married to my wonderful husband Andy for 5 years now and we have two beautiful children, Lauren (4 years) and Connor (3 years). I had always had an interest in surrogacy, and after my two fairly easy pregnancies, I realized this could very well be a possibility. It was one photo that pulled at my heart strings. A photo that went viral earlier this year that completely did it for me. It's amazing to me that one single photo can complete alter the course of one's life. I don't know the individuals in the photo, however, I felt more emotion in that photo full of strangers than I do in most pictures of family or friends. The picture was of a gestational surrogate right after she gave birth to a baby. The IF's (intended fathers) were right by her side, holding their newborn baby and crying tears of joy. It was incredible. There are no other words to describe it.

I am an organized person (generally speaking...) Meaning, I don't just jump into something unless I'm absolutely certain. So the photo mentioned previously was seen months before I dug up the courage to even begin this process. I have researched surrogacy. I have read everything there is to know about it. I've spoken with gestational surrogates all over the country through social media to try and understand it from a real-person's point of view. Most importantly, I have discussed this process with my husband in depth. I've discovered that significant others are extremely important to this process and he needed to be completely on-board before I could begin. He is. He's 150% supportive of me and this idea.

I'm sure I'll be asked why I want to be a surrogate mother? I feel as though I am an able body, willing to help. I have been blessed with two fairly easy pregnancies and two healthy children. Andy and I have completed our family, but what about the families who can't be completed, or worse yet, can't even begin? My children are my whole life, I can't imagine not being able have my own children. So I am over the moon to be able to give that to someone else. I can't wait to deliver a baby and hand it over to the person(s) who have gone through hoops to hold that very baby. It's absolutely incredible to me and I can't wait to begin.

So with that, I will review the three agency's I've been looking at once more and make a decision this week!